A Class Taught, featuring Sabrina Miller

After experiencing some technical difficulties last week, we’re finally back with a new episode. Topics include: the Biden Crime Family, Catholic parents, blaming everything on the “New Normal,” VIP stadium parking, Sabrina’s new career path, and a brand new device for recording podcasts that even a brain-dead dolt like myself can use.

A Recording Made, featuring Silence

So, about that new podcast episode…

We recorded it today. Really. And what I ended up with was 65 solid minutes of Sabrina Miller’s side of the conversation, and zero minutes of my side. In true Sabrina fashion, she offered to do the whole damn thing over again but by that point I was struggling to figure out what I did wrong. Turns out I can simply blame Skype.

Sorry. We’ll do another next weekend and make a proper comeback on January 25th.

I promise.

A Plan Made, featuring Plan-Type Stuff

It’s been nearly four months since the last podcast episode. I only know this because the site so conveniently dates them; otherwise, I would probably swear it had only been a few weeks as “a few weeks” is what my brain answers whenever I ask it the question, “When was that, anyway?” I blame COVID; I’m sure you go through much the same thing.

Anyway, it’s been a challenge, setting time aside for a podcast that doesn’t pay the bills and generally winds up being about the daily struggles of life in these Coronavirus times. After all, how much can you be expected to share when your days consist of rolling out of bed, changing your shirt (who wears pants right now?), and getting on seemingly endless Zoom calls? There’s hardly anything interesting about that, is there? Couple the mundanity of our day to day lives with the shitshow that is American politics, and you don’t end up with a recipe for entertaining podcasts.

All of that said, somebody recently told me that perhaps a regular reminder that you (the listener) aren’t alone in your boring-AF daily zoom call struggles is precisely what the doctor ordered. Not like a Doctor Fauci, obviously, I’m referring to a metaphorical doctor… one of those doctors that don’t really practice medicine and likely aren’t a doctor at all… like Jill Biden.

I’m joking. Really. God, get over it.

So, it is with great pleasure (though my wallet would disagree) that (new) Portland Sucks will resume regular weekly episodes effective Monday, January 18th, 2021, just in time for Martin Luther King Day. As you’ll no doubt have the day off, paid of course, you have no excuse but to join me and my fearless co-host for at least 45 minutes of mindless blather as we brave the grossly underutilized wastelands of our respective imaginations. Our failing memories once more on a quest to enlighten, educate, and irritate.

And if you don’t want to forget about it, your life being the whirlwind of excitement that it no doubt is, you’ll want to subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or that Google thing.


A History Preserved, featuring Doug Kenck-Crispin

Portland Sucks Podcast

Oregon historian, walking tour guide, and local podcast legend Doug Kenck-Crispin of Oregon History joins to discuss guns in deep southeast Oregon, the lasting impact of the ‘rona on our state, and how poorly local television treat their precious historic footage. And if you haven’t yet subscribed to the Kick Ass Oregon History podcast, shame on you, you need to fix that. I guarantee it’s at least 30% more life-enriching than sitting around waiting to trade Twitter barbs with Fake President Trump.

A Gap Minded, featuring Jack Hershman

Portland Sucks podcast

After a significant but unintentional delay, the podcast returns with a cross-Atlantic talk with my good pal (or “mate”) Jack. Jack is based in the UK, where the fear of rolling ones ankle or “visiting hospital” is far greater than some silly Coronavirus. In the course of an hour we solve the gun violence problem, discover obscure British laws, and ponder our smartphone inflicted thumbs.

Speaking of smartphones, are you doing enough to protect yours? If not, might I suggest you look into a rugged and stylish phone case from the geniuses at Urban Armor Gear? UAG phone cases are so goddamn good, I bought 4. Seriously. Their smartwatch straps and MacBook shells are legit too.

A Virus Born from Sex, featuring Animal Crossing

Flying solo because social distancing made it so. Today’s podcast explores themes of heroism, boredom, and the delight we take in performing mundane tasks when we’re not allowed to do so. Oh yes, and Pat Robertson’s 700 Club is mentioned a few times, so if you’re squeamish at all, you may want to avoid his television program.

A Repurposed Domain, featuring Jeff Peart

Jeff Peart Show Podcast

Former local podcaster Jeff Peart joins to discuss the complexity of modern video games, the day live sports disappeared, Elon Musk: Dark Knight, and having your website domain repurposed for sexual inclusivity.

Be sure to visit jeffpeartshow.com using your company-issued work computer.

A 4-Year Mistake, featuring Nevets

Portland Sucks Podcast with Nevets

Steven Lenhart (aka Nevets) joins for a bigly number of topics, including: Coronavirus playlists, the environmental upside of self-isolating, no more sports, and the roughhousing days of old.

Show note: I mistakenly said in the last episode that this episode would appear on Friday. I’m a moron. New episodes will arrive on Monday and Thursday, NOT Friday.

The best laid plans of mice and men…

…often go awry.

As of Friday, March 20, 2020 at 12:30pm Pacific, I have 3 episodes recorded, uploaded and ready to go. Impatiently awaiting approval from the Apple Podcasts store.

Sorry. I tried texting Tim Cook but all I got back was some bullshit about the new iPad.

Check back Monday. They never approve things over the weekend.

You’re early

Patience is a virtue that you clearly don’t possess.

It’s ok, don’t worry, I don’t either.

The first episode of New Portland Sucks will be available Friday, March 20th, 2020 both here and at all of the places one normally goes and subscribes to podcasts – there are so many fuckin’ places to get podcasts these days, aren’t there?

After that there will be new episodes twice a week, probably on Tuesdays and Fridays.

And before you ask, yes, there are plans to re-release all of the old episodes of PDX Sucks, Suck It, and Morning Submission. 🤪 Yes, I still have all of them because I’m a packrat when it comes to crap like that. Look for those in late May, 2020.

Thank you.