A Host Acquired, featuring Excuses


I know you’re wondering when the next half-hour(ish) of aural goodness is going to make its way into your ear canal. Well, have I got news for you!


I recently switched podcast hosts and I think (I hope) I’ve finally got everything in order, so you can look forward to downloading even more of this garbage very soon.

I’ve been assured that this will all happen seamlessly but because I trust absolutely no one, I would highly recommend re-subscribing via your favorite podcast app using this link:


If for some reason you end up with double the subscription, YAY, that just means more fake listeners for me. In theory, this shouldn’t happen but if it does, simply unsubscribe from the original and use the new one.

Apologies for being a pain in the ass. I’m trying to make all of this about 100% easier on myself so that I have more time to record stuff and spend less time dicking around with it all.


UPDATE: I am told that Google podcasts is being a bit of a dick. My solution here would be simple: don’t use Google podcasts. I’ve been around awhile and there’s no platform more listener and creator hostile than Google podcasts. It’s crap. I know you aren’t using Google Music, right? I mean, no one is. You’re either a Spotify person or an Apple person (and the latter generally always use the Apple Podcasts app). Use those. Or, alternately, use Amazon or one of the other dozen or so choices that the link above gives you if you click the “More…” button. Trust me, you’ll be much happier and your podcast-listening experience will improve as a result. Really.

A Warrior’s Heart, featuring Ransom Notes

Streaming uncut over a bed of new, hot, royalty-free theme music, your favorite podcasting warrior endures the reopening of a city, the perils of autocorrect, and horrors of Facebook, all in a taxing 41-minute monologue the likes of which this world hasn’t seen in at least a week.

An Argentine Labeled, featuring Blueberries

Consider for a moment the absurdity of defining someone by their age, their race, their gender, or where they’re from. Alternately, consider the ridiculousness of describing something by the most obvious trait you could possibly think of and then feeling proud of yourself for doing so. Welcome to modern media, and I’ve had about enough.

An Elephant Hated, featuring Betsy Clayton

Just over a year after her last appearance, longtime friend Betsy Clayton joins to discuss doing your own thing for the right reasons and how bloated radio networks are the new elephant in the podcast room, but there are myriad other reasons to dislike them. Fair warning, this sucker weighs in at over 90 minutes, or about how long it takes to watch the average Jet Li film. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which is a better use of your time.

An Audience Abused, featuring Amateur Podcasters

Awakened (awoke?) from a 12 minute nap, our hero (me) is enraged by an entitled a**hole with zero regard for manners, taste, and the needs of the very audience she claims to want to serve… And I decided to whine about it for a half hour, because I need a life and I REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

A Class Taught, featuring Sabrina Miller

After experiencing some technical difficulties last week, we’re finally back with a new episode. Topics include: the Biden Crime Family, Catholic parents, blaming everything on the “New Normal,” VIP stadium parking, Sabrina’s new career path, and a brand new device for recording podcasts that even a brain-dead dolt like myself can use.

A Recording Made, featuring Silence

So, about that new podcast episode…

We recorded it today. Really. And what I ended up with was 65 solid minutes of Sabrina Miller’s side of the conversation, and zero minutes of my side. In true Sabrina fashion, she offered to do the whole damn thing over again but by that point I was struggling to figure out what I did wrong. Turns out I can simply blame Skype.

Sorry. We’ll do another next weekend and make a proper comeback on January 25th.

I promise.

A History Preserved, featuring Doug Kenck-Crispin

Portland Sucks Podcast

Oregon historian, walking tour guide, and local podcast legend Doug Kenck-Crispin of Oregon History joins to discuss guns in deep southeast Oregon, the lasting impact of the ‘rona on our state, and how poorly local television treat their precious historic footage. And if you haven’t yet subscribed to the Kick Ass Oregon History podcast, shame on you, you need to fix that. I guarantee it’s at least 30% more life-enriching than sitting around waiting to trade Twitter barbs with Fake President Trump.

A Gap Minded, featuring Jack Hershman

Portland Sucks podcast

After a significant but unintentional delay, the podcast returns with a cross-Atlantic talk with my good pal (or “mate”) Jack. Jack is based in the UK, where the fear of rolling ones ankle or “visiting hospital” is far greater than some silly Coronavirus. In the course of an hour we solve the gun violence problem, discover obscure British laws, and ponder our smartphone inflicted thumbs.

Speaking of smartphones, are you doing enough to protect yours? If not, might I suggest you look into a rugged and stylish phone case from the geniuses at Urban Armor Gear? UAG phone cases are so goddamn good, I bought 4. Seriously. Their smartwatch straps and MacBook shells are legit too.

A Virus Born from Sex, featuring Animal Crossing

Flying solo because social distancing made it so. Today’s podcast explores themes of heroism, boredom, and the delight we take in performing mundane tasks when we’re not allowed to do so. Oh yes, and Pat Robertson’s 700 Club is mentioned a few times, so if you’re squeamish at all, you may want to avoid his television program.